I’m not occupying myself with either the past or the future with assumptions and scenarios.

I think the only real thing is the moment or time we live in, that’s the state of mind I’m in.

I love unknown times, only times when we don’t know what will happen…

I’ve noticed that everything whose every detail and curve I know almost with my eyes closed tires me.

That is, the past…

And of course, constructing the future too…

In such times, despite the lover I want to be in their arms, I just stand where I am, I can’t take a single step even toward them…

What a strange state this is, this state doesn’t make me sad, contrary to what’s thought, it whips me even more with the desire to reach my lover’s smiling looks at me with just standing and being indecisive……

Living knowing that my life will end a day later, understanding the value of every single minute…

I think that’s what I’m doing…

Living like this actually gives me the chance to confront who I want to be with, my real desires, my real longings, my ambitions, my weaknesses and many more emotions and thoughts like these..

I’ve accepted life however it is. The reason I don’t want to live with miracles and expectations may be because I know they won’t happen.

When someone you love very much leaves your life or you lose someone you love very much, you understand that you can’t lie to yourself alone.

A person may have said “I can never say no” even though they may have betrayed themselves at least once in their life, they can, they can lie, they can deceive too, because we’re human and we have weaknesses, desires, expectations.

But losing someone for whom you can sacrifice everything,

Or losing your father,

Confronts you with this reality. You know the end can come at any moment.

That’s why it hasn’t been a very long time, but for a while now I’ve been living only in the time I’m in.

Living by thinking about the past and future puts you into a bunch of memorized maps.

Whether you want it or not, lies enter your life, dismissiveness enters, empty promises enter…

Paths that have been walked before are walked again,

Maybe it’s out of timidity, maybe it’s resorting to easy solutions,

Or maybe it’s a choice that causes the least headache.

Lies don’t hurt like truths,

Today the weather is very cold…

I thought about these things this morning while walking in the garden with my cats before going to the office.

I laughed to myself at how much I had thought…

There’s still time to walk around the garden a bit more…

I’ve always loved the cold and frost,

Like my insides being covered as if with ice, like neither my lips nor my hands being able to move…

But I still love it even so…Whatever happens, give yourself the chance to enter unknown paths occasionally in your life adventure that seems endless but can end at any moment, within indecisions.

You won’t lose much…

In one hand my jasmine, in the other hand my morning coffee…

What’s real right now is this, I’ve focused only on the space and time I live in.

The only real thing…